Monday
You know what should be against the law? The stupid Lexus December to Remember commercials playing on January 1st. Have we not suffered enough?
Here’s what I would like to happen:
She wraps his phone for his gift, and calls it, so that the Lexus jingle plays. He gets all excited, knowing what that means, and runs for the door, all the while looking at the love of his life with disbelief and joy.
He opens the door, sees the $50,000 car she bought (with his money), and his posture morphs from excitement to anger.
“A hatchback? You bought me a hatchback? What the fuck? Why would Lexus even MAKE a hatchback? How much of our money did you waste on a fucking hatchback fucking Lexus? Huh? I can’t hear you, dumb bitch!”
Or this:
“Red? Red? I hate red cars! I know we’ve never had this conversation, damn it! If I’d have known….. how could I know you would run out and make such a huge decision without me? How could I know that you would think such a big ticket purchase would be a good gift where only you got to choose the shit? Let alone red! How fucking stupid are you? Never mind. Don’t answer that. I want a divorce.”
Whew. I feel better just fantasizing about that.
Having suffered through all of December agonizing over the stupidity of gifting something like a car, I thought I was safe for about 11 months. It should be against the law to advertise December shit in January.
That’s it. I’ve gotta go. I’m spending the rest of my day crafting a letter to my congressman.
2 Comments »
January 2, 2012 @ 6:45 am
I thought you were going to complain about what’s been bugging me about this stupid commercial-the song. Nobody has ever heard or would ever remember hearing that tune. They’re assuming that it’s in everybody’s head because they play it so often for so many years. I’ve never heard of it before this series of commercials.
I can remember coke and pepsi tunes from a million years ago but not that stupid song. If Leroy handed me a phone playing that tune I’d tell him his taste in music still sucks.
I WOULD however take ANY car that someone gave me. Red-Hatchback-even the big bow.
January 2, 2012 @ 8:00 am
Let me get this straight. Leroy spends your MUTUAL money and picks out a car and ‘gives’ it to you. You are not angry at having no say so in your choice of cars. Regardless of the car you are happy that he bought you one. Do I have that right? It’s a minivan, and Shelly is happy as hell. Ya. Sounds like the bitch I know. You are out of your fucking mind, and I’m not buying your bullshit for a second. On the other hand I agree with you about the stupid jingle. It’s arrogant of them to think anyone would recognize it. Before this commercial I would not have either. Assholes.
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