I have been chided recently for not writing. No amount of reminding some of you that I am only a pretend writer seems to get through to the slower minded folks out there.
It’s just that my life is far more boring than most people give me credit for.
I did run for office this last political season, and won. I am now one of the newest councilor the fine city ofLebanon has to offer. Sad, huh?
My opponent was a really nice woman whom I got to know a little bit and liked very much. Everyone I spoke with liked her very much. If the best voting decision were based on who was the better person, or who was more likeable, I’d have voted for her myownself.
But it wasn’t.
It was more likely about which bitch could get things done. I think you have to be a bit bitchy to be effective, and if I have a forte, that’s definitely it.
On top of that, I am well known in town. Not to be mistaken for well loved. A lot of people like me, even more don’t, but either way, they know my name, and I think that accounted for at least half of my votes. The final count was my 964 to her 506. Not a bad margin of victory.
And, to be clear, I would have been just as happy to lose. I swear it. I think the city council needs my calm, thoughtful leadership style, and my sense of humor, far more than I need it. But seeing as how I’m a pro-growth, business friendly, capitalistic pig-woman, I will be happy to contribute what I can to seeLebanon succeed in that direction.
Plus it’s an important step to global domination, which, let’s face it, is in everyone’s best interest.
Being a politician can just plain suck. It really doesn’t matter what you do. Someone hates you. And there is nobody that agrees with you 100% of the time. The best you can hope for, in my estimation, is that you’ll agree with someone around 75% of the time. That’s my own benchmark when casting my vote for anyone.
Nationally, my dude lost.
During the primaries, Mitt Romney was not my man. But after he became the Republican dude on the ticket, I knew I would vote for him, mostly because I’m for a government being smaller and getting out of the way to allow capitalism let the economy grow, and he gets that, if nothing else.
I’m not big on the Mormon faith. Too culty for me. I am not personally crazy about any religion where God speaks to a dude and a faith where caffeine is the devil is born. Then he speaks to another dude, and now we can’t drink coffee, but Coke is okay. And we have to wear special underwear and stuff. NOBODY tells me what underwear I can wear, or that I have to wear any! Those evil spirits can crawl right up my hoo hoo if they’d like. I will expel them with my super power gut muscles. I’ve been practicing for just that on my Wii Fit.
I’m sure I’ve got some of that wrong, and for the most part, I think Mormons are a peaceable people and quite lovely. I just could never adapt to their strict man-rules. Not in a million years.
My point is that while I’m not crazy about the faith, I had no qualms about one of their dudes running the country. But I wasn’t a Romney ‘fan’ – until, that is, the first debate. That’s when I felt myself actually uplifted and energized by his spot on enthusiasm, and his vision for the direction we need to take as a country.
Still, I am not in the class of Obama haters, as many people I know are. I think he does what he thinks is right. He is not the devil. And he’s very charismatic, so on a personal level I think we could kick back with a few drinks, have some debate over liberalism vs conservatism, have a few laughs, find some common ground, and generally have a good time together.
And as such, consider this my personal invitation to our fine President, whom I disagree with, but respect as the leader of the greatest nation on God’s green earth. Let’s do lunch!